she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
