if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
