Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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