so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
