It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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