It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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