Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
