walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
