I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
