omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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