My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
