Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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