i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
