he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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