Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
