That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
