can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
