Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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