i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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