4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
