My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
