we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
