Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
