i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
