worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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