Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
