they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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