"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
