everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
