I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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