you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
