We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
