Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
