Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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