Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
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