look no pants
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
