I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
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