i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
