I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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