You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
