i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
