you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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