Plan B is the new Plan A
are you so shy because you have an std?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
