Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
