so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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