I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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