Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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