My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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