this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
