It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
